The Briar Patch: Thorny “Minor” Challenges for Directors

Vic Pantesco, Ph.D
 

"But they got MORE!"

The Thorn
      Sometimes here in the clinic I feel like the parent driving the car with the two kids in the back battling over encroachments over the magical dividing line between their seat spaces. A veteran of many such rides, I was always amazed at the endurance and vigor of the combatants. Here in the clinic the question of inequity or unfairness rarely (thankfully) blossoms into eruptions more reflective of the three-year-old, but it does arise in palpable ways often.

      One place we might experience this is in assigning cases. For example, a student a bit light on their caseload may complain that another student seems to have plenty. At times this braying is reality based, and we are at fault for sending some referrals too quickly to the fastest horses. We have also seen, however, such complaining come from students who have not exactly been energized about doing phone screenings that reasonably would pipeline the case to them.

      Another place this may arise is in attributions about working or not (so-and-so always has their door closed, and we know they are just listening to tunes), etc. Ah, the back seat again - not that some observations might be valid. Or, that somehow a student seems to have so many visits scheduled for practicum sites considered for next year that it rivals the allotted vacation time. Or, that so-and-so’s supervisor is much better than mine in getting reports and notes back to me.

      This also challenges me to stay mature and professional on occasion when I might wonder with a student why the only time I see them diligently communicating with me or otherwise being visible in our discussions is when they are announcing and planning for time away from the clinic. I need to be careful of my own impatience and attributions. That’s why I write this column!

To Dull the Pain
      As usual, putting discussions of this clearly and squarely into orientation is a help. Like adequately setting the therapy frame, this endeavor saves you from a lot of “but you never told me” treats. It is especially helpful to get very specific about examples of what you are talking about, even to the point of specifying examples like the thorns above.

      To help me keep perspective and patience before an unprofessional pop-off, I seek out one of my buddies on the faculty. I can close the door and fulminate, shake my fist at the sky, mightily congratulate myself on not being so petty, and remember that I still have motility and can self nourish.

      Of course one of my favorites remains bringing concerns like this into the “operations” meeting,- that gathering whose only agenda is “how are we doing with each other?” Around November of each year our own faculty team (Administrative Manager, Assistant Director, and I) model this for the students in which we fish bowl our own interactions with each other within an appropriate domain of responsibility. For example, in that meeting I usually begin with myself, inviting: “How am I doing as the Director regarding our interactions? Any place I am missing the boat or provoking some annoyance…?”

      As some of you who have heard me speak will recognize, a favorite from Mr. Rogers often comes to mind: “If it’s mentionable, it’s manageable.” Unmentionables by definition are unmanageable.

      Without redress or avenues of release, these “little” backseat battles can put on some emotional mileage in an already loaded job.

Here is Vic getting some much-needed therapy from his rock troll therapist on Block Island, RI last summer. A future ADPTC meeting site? (The therapy is free.)